we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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