I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Two words: nipple clamps
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