that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
