remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
