i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
