If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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