VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize
