I understand why you refuse to be sober now
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
