Will you blow on my dice?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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