There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
