Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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