HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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