drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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