i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
