I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
