He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
