i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
