I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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