Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
