We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
