how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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