I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
