Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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