Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
