You just made me feel so damn special
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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