Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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