thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
