It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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