haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
