i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
