my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
My feet surprised me
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
