..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
look no pants
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
What a dumb baby whore.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
