Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
