Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
...so i touched it.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
