he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize