You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
