he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
