Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
