how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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