they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
