Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
