Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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