let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
My dad is sitting where you rode me
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
