Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
