what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
they need to just BURY HIM!
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
