I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
