TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
