we have officially lost it.
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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