New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
