'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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