Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
