Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
